I smile at people’s dogs on the street.
I don’t normally pay attention to who’s on the other end of the leash.
This morning, there was a man twice my age at the other end of the leash.
He took my liking for his puggle as an invitation.
He complimented my shoes
And asked if I got them on eBay. (eBay?)
I said no.
He asked if I ever shopped on eBay.
I said not really.
He then said “eBay is this website where…”
I KNOW WHAT EBAY IS, DUDE!
I may never smile again.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Desk
There are a few things
I enjoy about a desk job
I like to use the letter opener
I like to use the staple remover
I enjoy rubber stamps
And I always appreciate free coffee
And toilet paper.
I think that covers everything.
I used to like spinning in my swivel chair
But I did it for too long
And made myself sick.
I enjoy about a desk job
I like to use the letter opener
I like to use the staple remover
I enjoy rubber stamps
And I always appreciate free coffee
And toilet paper.
I think that covers everything.
I used to like spinning in my swivel chair
But I did it for too long
And made myself sick.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Vanity
Sometimes I think
My only ambition
Is primping in front of the mirror
Examining my pores
Adjusting my cleavage
And trying to flatten out the lumps in my skull.
Which is ridiculous
Because it’s bone
But if water can erode stone
Can’t my grimy little hands wear down my own skull?
My only ambition
Is primping in front of the mirror
Examining my pores
Adjusting my cleavage
And trying to flatten out the lumps in my skull.
Which is ridiculous
Because it’s bone
But if water can erode stone
Can’t my grimy little hands wear down my own skull?
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Tremors
How many calories are burned by incessant twitching?
My hands shake.
They shook when I was a kid
And they shake today.
Every part of my body shakes like a rodent
And every time the phone rings,
I feel like my stomach acids are burning straight through my skin.
I hoped that when I grew up I’d stop being afraid of everything
But I still am
And I hoped that when I grew up I’d be a better person
But I’m so, so much worse.
My hands shake.
They shook when I was a kid
And they shake today.
Every part of my body shakes like a rodent
And every time the phone rings,
I feel like my stomach acids are burning straight through my skin.
I hoped that when I grew up I’d stop being afraid of everything
But I still am
And I hoped that when I grew up I’d be a better person
But I’m so, so much worse.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Grown Up
All day long
For nearly all of the hours that the sun sits in the sky
I sit in a room that is colorless
Odorless
And soundless
Except for the typing of computer keys
And the grinding of the copy machine
And whenever I’m in this room
And manage to somehow have a thought
A real thought, or even the start of a thought
There’s a knock on the formica
Or the flash of a new email
“Please call So-and-So’s assistant and ask if So-and-So is available for a conference call on Monday between 10am and 12:30pm, Tuesday between 11:30am and 3pm, or Thursday between 4pm and 5pm. Remember to coordinate with the other panelists and reserve a meeting room.”
Follow up
Please advise.
For nearly all of the hours that the sun sits in the sky
I sit in a room that is colorless
Odorless
And soundless
Except for the typing of computer keys
And the grinding of the copy machine
And whenever I’m in this room
And manage to somehow have a thought
A real thought, or even the start of a thought
There’s a knock on the formica
Or the flash of a new email
“Please call So-and-So’s assistant and ask if So-and-So is available for a conference call on Monday between 10am and 12:30pm, Tuesday between 11:30am and 3pm, or Thursday between 4pm and 5pm. Remember to coordinate with the other panelists and reserve a meeting room.”
Follow up
Please advise.
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